Holiday Diet Tips
- If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
- If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.
- When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you eat the same amount.
- Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes any chocolate used for energy, brandy, Sara Lee Cheesecake (eaten whole), and Haagen-Daz Ice Cream.
- Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage causes calorie leakage.
- If you eat the food off someone else’s plate, it doesn’t count.
- If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get walked off.
- Food eaten at Christmas parties has no calories, courtesy of Santa.
- STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.
Also popular this year, is this wonderful cookie recipe I plan to try out on Christmas Eve. Maybe you'll all join me!
Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookie Recipe
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
1. Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality,pour one level cup and drink.
2. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
3. Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try another cup just in case.
4. Turn off the mixerer thingy.
5. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
6. Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.
7. Mix on the turner.
8. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
9. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
10. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves a s....t. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
11. Add one table.
12. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
13. Greash the oven.
14. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
15. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
16. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.
Cherry Mistmas !
Drop a comment...Which one of these will be most helpful to you this Christmas?